Are you kind?
Are you loving?
Do you receive love?
Do you give love?
Are you resentful?
Are you angry?
Are your needs met?
Do you feel at peace?
Being peaceful all by yourself is much easier than being peaceful surrounded by people or even more challenging in a loving relationship. Conflict is inherent in human relationships even with the people we love the most. Understanding how to move through conflict are skills that aren’t taught formally. We are expected to learn them on the fly. Some of us go in search of formal training for conflict resolution, especially because it can feel so painful.
Before we know it all of our unresolved childhood issues are triggered by our partner, while at the same time, we are triggering all of their unresolved childhood pain. It can feel disappointing that a relationship we had so much hope for is bringing up all of our old pain. AND in this container of love, we develop the strength to looks inwards and move through it. We consciously choose to learn from our past, see where it didn’t work, and develop new skills that do work. How can I do this differently, better, with more love, more compassion, and more patience?
The nervous system is like a tuning fork. You have the power to shift the energetic field in your home by using long slow deep breathing, visualizations, and gentle movements. You will be surprised at how your parter and family perceive the shift in energy, when instead of fighting back you start to breathe longer, slower, and deeper. Calming the energetic field helps everyone to feel less defensive and less attacked. Our love surfaces from underneath the hurt, and we remember how we really want to show up in relationship.
Releasing stress after an argument tones the nervous system. We may need some time alone to get clear on what we are feeling and if we are upset about what is happening in front of us or are we triggered by something that is unresolved from the past. Releasing emotions is a skill set I love to share in my group healing classes and private sessions, that we aren’t taught in our formal education.
This is a skill we want to model for our family, how to talk about emotions in a way that releases the energy, moves the energy, and frees people from blame or shame.
Being in relationship offers one unique aspect that meditating on a mountain doesn’t, a test.
We are tested in the Divine Qualities of Compassion, Mercy, Patience, Loving Acceptance, and Kindness.
We see in real time how our actions affect another human being, lifting them up or causing them pain.
We see the effects of our mistakes, and we feel the connection when we get it right.
Being in relationship is not easy, but it is what we all crave. Love.
We discover love deep within us beneath all the hurt and pain.
We allow the hurt and pain to surface to release, so we can receive the life lesson.
The life lesson always relates to 3 main teachings in relationship: love, boundaries, and respect.
We practice respect towards ourselves by listening with a compassionate heart to ourselves.
We learn how to listen with a compassionate heart to our loved ones so they feel respected.
Love, honor, and respect are values we want to cultivate in relationship with ourselves and our fellow human beings.
To learn more about preparing your heart for love, join me for Find Your Beloved, a workshop to open your heart to a deeper, more satisfying love.
Live on Zoom November 25, 26, & 27, 2022 4pm-5:30pm EST
Should you prefer a private session for a chance to speak, be heard, and clarify your intentions, private sessions are available by appointment only.
Hawa Robin Cahn is a movement healing expert holding a Master’s Degree in Divinity from the University of Sufism. She is certified in Pilates, Yoga, and Craniosacral Therapy. Spiritual Counseling sessions open the heart, soul, and secret for you to receive Divine Messages within yourself. Healing is defined as becoming more aware of how God is moving you on currents of Light and Love.